


Crash

by giantpanda



Series: What if... [18]
Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: Canon Rewrite, Car Accidents, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:36:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29959683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giantpanda/pseuds/giantpanda
Summary: What if instead of an earthquake, a car accident forced Neil and Claire to admit their feelings?
Relationships: Claire Browne/Neil Melendez
Series: What if... [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799092
Comments: 98
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by RiTheBiGuy_RileyTMR’s story Afterlife where Claire was in a car accident. My medical knowledge is limited so please excuse any mistakes. I hope you enjoy the story.

Neil couldn’t wait until he was home and could drown his thoughts with some strong whiskey. He knew he needed to do something about his feelings for Claire, but he wasn’t sure what. She was still his resident, and as her attending a relationship would be complicated. But the more time he spent with her, the more he longed for that complication. Somewhere in the past few weeks he had fallen in love with her or rather admitted to himself that he had fallen in love with her. A few days ago, he had come close to revealing his feelings to her when he told her that she made him a better doctor and a better person. He could tell that she was overwhelmed by what he said, but they hadn’t talked about it again.

He hated that he was possibly heading towards another broken heart. He had no doubt that the two of them could be good together. Yet, he knew it couldn’t happen. He had decided that he would make sure that she was happy. He had overheard her talking to Morgan before she left for the night about going to dinner with Dash. He could admit that he was jealous, but he knew that there was nothing he could do about it. She deserved the world, and he would make sure she got it even if he wasn’t the one to give it to her.

He sighed as he packed up for the day. He needed to stop thinking about her and about the future he wanted with her that they couldn’t have. He found himself thinking more about the family they could create, which just hurt more. He needed to get away from the hospital. Maybe it would be a good idea to stop at a bar instead of going home alone for that drink.

As he picked up his things to leave, Audrey rushed into his office.

“Neil,” she said breathlessly, “I need to talk to you about Claire.”

He sighed, the last thing he needed was to get into it again with her. Even with his feelings for Claire, he didn’t feel like he favored her more than the others.

“I’m exhausted and am going home, can this wait until tomorrow? I’ve told you before nothing is going on there,” he said, moving to leave.

She placed her hand against his arm to stop him from leaving. “She was in a car accident.”

He felt as if his heart stopped at her words. He noticed now the worry in her eyes, and he was numb with fear. “Is she okay?”

“They just took her into surgery.”

He dropped his bag and his coat on the chair, “Which OR?”

“I’m not telling you that.”

“If she’s in surgery, she needs the best,” he argued, “And that’s me.”

“You just said you’re exhausted.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not going to operate on her or go anywhere near that OR.”

“She deserves the best,” he argued.

“And right now, that’s not you.”

He closed his eyes, fighting the helplessness that settled in his chest. “But it’s Claire,” he said, his voice breaking.

“I know,” she said softly. “Which is why you can’t be in there.”

“Please tell me this isn’t still about that favoritism complaint.”

“No, this is about the feelings you keep denying you have for her. I’m not going to let that compromise her care.”

“You think I’d ever do anything that would hurt her?”

“Of course not,” she answered, “But I do think your feelings for her could cloud your judgment.”

“I don’t…” he started.

“Neil,” she interrupted, “stop lying to me,” she shook her head, “or maybe to yourself. You can’t tell me that you’re not terrified right now.”

“And you’re not?”

“Not like you are.” She took his hand. “Right now, we need to let the doctors working on her do their job and be ready to be there for her when she wakes up.”

He took a shaky breath. “How bad is it?”

She looked away from him, and he knew it was bad. “Another car ran a red light and hit them on the passenger’s side.”

“Them?”

“Her friend Dash was driving. He’s being taken care of in the ER, Claire got the brunt of the impact.”

“Is he okay?” he asked. Claire had suffered enough loss the past few months and he didn’t want her to have to deal with another.

“A few bumps and bruises. You can go talk to him if you want, I’ll come see you there when I hear more about how Claire’s doing.”

“Thank you, Audrey.”

She squeezed his hand. “Claire’s strong.”

“I know.”

He watched as Audrey left his office. He took a few steading breaths trying not to panic. Despite what she said, he wanted to find the OR that Claire was in and make sure she was getting the best care possible, but he knew he could be a distraction. He just wanted to see her and make sure that she was going to be okay. He had thought he had made peace with loving her from afar, but the thought of losing her broke his heart. He needed her in his life.

Once he felt like he had his emotions under control he headed to the ER to find Dash. He knocked on the door and waited to be waved in. Neil noticed the bandage on his forehead and the bruises.

“Dr. Melendez, how’s Claire?”

“I don’t know much,” he said as he came into the room glancing at Dash’s vitals. “She’s in surgery.”

Dash sighed. “We were just talking, and the car just came out of nowhere.”

Neil wasn’t sure what to say to him. Logically he knew the accident wasn’t Dash’s fault, but he had convinced himself that he was the key to Claire’s happiness. Now she was in an OR possibly fighting for her life. She was supposed to be safe.

Dash frowned, “Claire always says that you’re the best, why aren’t you taking care of her?” 

“I was on my way out,” he said, “She’s getting the best care possible.”

“She’ll be okay, right?”

“She’s strong, she’ll be fine,” he said, repeating that to himself because he needed her to be.

“That she is.” Dash studied him for a moment, before he asked, “Are you Neil?”

He hesitated before answering. “Yes,” he said.

“I thought so.”

He wondered what he meant by that. Dash motioned for him to have a seat, with a sigh he did. 

“Claire and I aren’t together,” Dash started, “My wife wanted us to be. She was adamant that we try. I don’t know maybe a way to give herself some comfort. We’ve gone on a few dates, but we’re never going to be anything but friends.”

“Why are you telling me this?” he asked softly.

“I think you know why.”

He felt uncomfortable under Dash’s knowing stare and wondered what he was thinking.

“As someone who lost the woman they love more than anything, don’t waste any more time with Claire.”

“She’s my resident.”

Dash laughed, grimacing at the pain it caused. “She tried that same argument tonight talking about how you’re her boss. Do you really think that’s important right now?”

Audrey came in saving him from having to answer his question.

“How’s Claire?” he asked.

“The surgery went well,” she told them both. “Now we just have to wait for her to wake up and see if there are any other concerns.”

He knew that she was thinking about if there were any lingering issues from the impact of the crash.

He stood, “Get some rest,” he told Dash.

“Think about what I said.”

“I will.”

He followed Audrey to the ICU where they were getting Claire settled.

“What did he want you to think about?”

“Nothing.”

Audrey rolled her eyes, “If you say so.” As they got closer to her room, she asked, “Does she have any family we should contact?”

He shook his head as he was hit with a wave of sadness when he thought about how her mother had been the only family she had. It seemed cruel that after all her hard work putting herself back together after the loss of her mother, that she would be injured in a crash herself.

They entered her room together and he was devastated to see her lying there bruised and unconscious. He would switch places with her in a heartbeat if it meant that she was safe and free of pain. 

He wasn’t sure what Audrey saw on his face, but she shook her head and mumbled, “Yeah, there’s nothing going on with you two.”

He moved to check her chart to see how she was doing, but Audrey placed her hand against his arm to stop him. “I think we both know you’re not here as her doctor.”

“What else am I supposed to do?”

“Sit with her, talk to her, maybe tell her how you really feel about her.”

“Audrey…”

She cut him off, “Don’t worry about that right now. Neil, you and I both know how lucky she was to survive tonight. The rest doesn’t matter. We’ll figure out what to do when the time comes.” She sighed, “It’s going to take her awhile to recover. We both know that. This is going to put her behind in her residency. Other than a trip to HR, it might not be a problem depending on how long she is out.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” he said, thinking about all her hard work to get to this point in her residency and for her to fall behind because of something out of her control.

She took his hand, “Right now we just have to focus on making sure she wakes up. Let me know if you need anything.”

He nodded, “Thank you.”

Audrey left and he sank down in the chair beside Claire’s bed. He examined her taking in the injuries he could see and trying not to think of those he couldn’t. He hesitated to take her hand, realizing that was something he had never done before. His eyes filled with tears as he thought about what both Dash and Audrey had said. He had wasted so much time because he was worried about the consequences of pursuing a relationship with her and of getting another broken heart.

He gently slipped his hand into hers. “Hey Claire,” he said softly, “I don’t know if you can hear me or not.” He closed his eyes as he tried to get his thoughts together. “It seems like the coward’s way to talk to you when you can’t say anything back. I need you to wake up. I need for you to argue with me, to run beside me, to shock me with your atrocious bowling skills.” “I just,” his voice broke, “I just need you, Claire. I love you.”

He brought her hand up to his lips and gently kissed her hand. He couldn’t stop the tears from falling as he thought about losing her. He needed her to wake up.


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing Claire was aware of was that every part of her seemed to ache. She tried to open her eyes, but everything seemed to be too bright and blurry and she quickly closed them again. Her head was pounding, and she felt pressure against her side. She tried to focus on what happened, but everything felt fuzzy. This felt worse than any hangover she had ever had.

Taking a few steadying breaths, she opened her eyes again and waited as they adjusted to the brightness of the room. Carefully she moved her arm to push against whatever was against her side. Her hand bumped against something solid and she whimpered at the pain it caused. She closed her eyes as the pressure left her side, opening them again she saw Neil beside her.

“Hey, sleeping beauty,” he said softly.

She struggled to focus on him, “I doubt sleeping beauty saw two prince charmings,” she mumbled as she closed her eyes again.

He stood and turned the lights off. Without the harsh lights, she was able to focus better and thankfully she was no longer seeing double.

“Thank you.” Now that she was better able to focus, she took in his appearance. She had worked with him for years, and she didn’t think she had ever seen him look anything but perfect. He looked exhausted, his clothes were wrinkled, and it looked like he hadn’t gotten a chance to shave. “Are you okay?” she asked.

“Am I okay?” he asked in disbelief. “I’m not the one in the hospital bed.”

“You look exhausted,” she said.

He shook his head. “Always worried about someone else.”

“What happened?”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

She closed her eyes again as she thought back. “Things are a little fuzzy,” she admitted.

She looked down as he took her hand. “It’s okay.”

“I had dinner with Dash,” she said, trying to remember what they had talked about. “That’s it.”

He kept her hand in his and she took comfort in the way his thumb rubbed against the back of her hand. She focused on that instead of her jumbled thoughts.

“You were in a car accident,” he said. “Dash is fine, he’s been here a couple times to sit with you.”

“That explains why everything hurts. How bad is it?”

“Another car ran a red light and hit your side of the car. You needed surgery for some internal bleeding. You hit your head pretty hard and Aaron’s been monitoring you.”

She took in what he was saying, but the part she was having trouble with was why he looked so disheveled. She couldn’t imagine that being down one resident would make the rest of them be so overworked.

“That was three days ago,” he continued. He reached up and gently caressed her face, “You know there are easier ways to get out of coming to work.”

She smiled at him, “You should go home and get some rest.”

“I’m fine,” he said, “I wanted to be here when you woke up.”

“Thank you,” she said. She sighed as she closed her eyes again, “You’re going to need to find a new running partner for a while.”

“No, I can wait until your ready. I’ll be here for whatever you need.”

Bits of her conversation with Dash became clearer as she remembered sharing with him her feelings for Neil. She opened her eyes and looked at him again. She could see the concern and exhaustion clearly on his face. She couldn’t get her mind to focus enough to figure out what it meant.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Like I got hit by a car.”

“Claire…”

Sighing, she admitted, “My head hurts and by body aches. It feels like the worst hangover ever.”

“Okay. I’m going to go get Aaron and let him know you’re awake so he can check you out.”

Her eyes felt heavy and she closed them, mumbling, “I’d like you to be the one to check me out.”

He laughed softly, “What do you think I’ve been doing every day?”

With her eyes closed, she felt something brush against her forehead. She kept her eyes closed as she tried to make sense of everything.

When she opened her eyes again, Neil was standing by her bed with Dr. Glassman next to him. She forced herself to try to focus as Dr. Glassman asked her some questions and examined her.

“I know you might not feel like it right now,” Dr. Glassman said, “But you were very lucky.”

“When can I go home?”

He shook his head, “You’ve been unconscious for three days,” he said, “Let us all take care of you, there is no need to rush before you’re ready.”

She sighed, but knew he was right. They would need to monitor her with the concussion, and she would need physical therapy as well. She thanked him as he finished with his exam and left her alone with Neil, who sat back in the chair beside her bed.

“Don’t you have other patients to take care of?”

He took her hand again, “Only one who matters is you.”

“I’m okay. I’m not going to be the reason that someone else is deprived of your brilliance.”

“The others know where I am if I’m needed.”

She wished that she didn’t still feel as if she was in fog, she felt like she was missing something. “Have you been here the whole time?”

“Whenever I could. The others stayed with you sometimes too.”

“Why?”

“Because we care about you, I care about you.” He brought his hand up to her face. “You scared me Claire.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay. You should get some rest.”

“So should you,” she said as she drifted off to sleep aware of his hand holding hers.


	3. Chapter 3

Neil was in his office trying to finish up some paperwork so he would be able to go check on Claire. He had a few surgeries earlier and hadn’t been able to see her as much as he liked. She had woken up a few days ago, and overall seemed to be doing well after the accident. He had been relieved to be by her side when she had finally woken up.

_He was exhausted. It had been three days since Claire had been in the car accident and she still hadn’t woken up. Despite Audrey suggesting he take the time off he had started working from her room. He hadn’t been home since the accident. At the end of his shift, he collapsed in the chair beside her bed. He slipped his hand into hers._

_“I could’ve used you today,” he started. “We had one of those patients that you’re so good with. I needed your brilliance.” He sighed. “To be honest I just need you.”_

_He thought about how much time he would spend with her outside of work and how much he had come to crave her company. He maintained a steady stream of conversation with her, filling her in on his patients and how the others were doing. Every second she stayed unconscious worried him. It also showed him how ridiculous he had been to think he could continue to pretend that he wasn’t in love with her._

_“Claire, you need to wake up,” he said softly, gently caressing her face. “I miss you.”_

_Yawning, he gave into the temptation to lay down. Mindful of her injuries, he laid down and rested against her side. It wasn’t the first time he had rested here. With a whispered, I love you, he drifted off to sleep._

_He startled sometime later when he felt something bump against his head. Sitting up, he was filled with relief as he realized that Claire was moving. He fought back tears at the fact that after three days he was going to be able to talk with her._

_“Hey, sleeping beauty,” he said softly._

_He noticed that she was having trouble focusing on him, mumbling, “I doubt sleeping beauty saw two prince charmings.”_

_He stood and turned off the harsh overhead lights, hoping that would help her. He scanned her face looking for any signs of pain._

_“Thank you,” he worried when she frowned at him. “Are you okay?” she asked._

_“Am I okay?” he asked, shaking his head. “I’m not the one in the hospital bed.”_

_“You look exhausted.”_

_“Always worried about someone else.”_

_He knew she hated to be considered a soft touch, but only she could wake up and be immediately concerned for someone else. He took that a sign that she was going to be fine._

_“What happened?”_

_Curious, he asked, “What’s the last thing you remember?”_

_She closed her eyes. “Thinks are a little fuzzy.”_

_“It’s okay.”_

_He didn’t think about it as he took her hand in his since he was used to doing so when he sat beside her. He watched as she looked down at their hands._

_“I had dinner with Dash,” she said. “That’s it.”_

_He started to caress her hand with his thumb as he always did when talking to her._

_“You were in a car accident,” he said. “Dash is fine, he’s been here a couple times to sit with you.”_

_Neil had gotten a chance to get to know Dash a little better when the two of them would sit by her bedside. He learned more about his friendship with Claire and had heard some stories of her from when she was in college. He could see that Dash was still grieving his wife and couldn’t imagine how to survive that heartache. Three days without Claire was too many._

_“That explains why everything hurts. How bad is it?”_

_“Another car ran a red light and hit your side of the car. You needed surgery for some internal bleeding. You hit your head pretty hard and Aaron’s been monitoring you.”_

_The head trauma was what they were most concerned about. Her internal injuries were healing fine. With every moment that she was unconscious the unvoiced fear that something was going to be wrong took over._

_“That was three days ago,” he continued. He gave in to his desire to touch her and gently caressed her face. “You know there are easier ways to get out of coming to work.”_

_She smiled at him, “You should go home and get some rest.”_

_“I’m fine. I wanted to be here when you woke up,” he admitted. He had stayed by her side as often as possible wanting to be there if she needed him._

_“Thank you,” she said. She sighed as she closed her eyes again, “You’re going to need to find a new running partner for a while.”_

_“No, I can wait until your ready again. I’ll be here for whatever you need.”_

_He hoped she realized that he meant it. He planned on being by her side through every step of her recovery and hopefully beyond. He was just so relieved that she was awake._

_“How are you feeling?” he asked._

_“Like I got hit by a car.”_

_“Claire…”he said, he knew she would try to downplay however she was feeling._

_Sighing, she told him, “My head hurts and by body aches. If feels like the worst hangover ever.”_

_“Okay.” As much as he wanted it to be just the two of them, she needed to be evaluated. “I’m going to go get Aaron and let him know you’re awake so he can check you out.”_

_She closed her eyes, mumbling, “I’d like you to be the one to check me out.”_

_He laughed softly, “What do you think I’ve been doing every day?” he asked._

_He brushed a gentle kiss against her forehead before stepping out of her room. He leaned against the wall, weak with relief that she was okay. He stood for a few minutes to get himself back together before he went to find Aaron._

She had a severe concussion and was still healing from the accident. If he didn’t know her so well, he would think she was perfectly fine. She still had a headache, got dizzy when standing and would mention if the room was too bright for her sensitive eyes. He could tell that her body still ached from the crash. Not that she complained about any of her injuries or pain, all she cared about was when she would get to go home. 

He sighed as he leaned back in his chair. The past few days had been exhausting, especially the first few after the accident when she was still unconscious. It had been difficult to balance his responsibilities as an attending with his desire to be by her side. While he hadn’t admitted to anyone his feelings for her, he knew that there were rumors going around that they were a couple. He didn’t do much to help them with the fact that he spent every moment he could by her side, even falling asleep resting against her a few times.

The few nurses who were brave enough to say anything to him, seemed supportive and wanted to make sure he was comfortable. He knew that was more because of Claire than him. He had caught a few of the nurses holding her hand and talking to her when he couldn’t be there. It had quickly spread that she didn’t have any family and the nurses and some of the doctors had taken it upon themselves to sit with her if he wasn’t available.

Others came even when he was there. He had a few interesting conversations with his other residents, each surprisingly supportive of a potential relationship between him and Claire. Morgan had been the most vocal, tearfully telling him that their positions didn’t matter when Claire had almost died. Alex just told him to be careful, and Shaun asked some personal questions that Neil tried to ignore.

Running his hands across his eyes, he sighed. He wasn’t going to get anything done if he didn’t go see her. The fear those first few days still lingered when he was away from her for too long. As a doctor, he knew that she was healing and would be fine. However, he still pictured her that first night lying motionless in the bed. He stood up and headed to her room. He would come back later to finish his work.

He was relieved to see that she was alone in her room. He knocked and smiled at her as she waved him in.

“Are you here to tell me I can go home?” she asked, hopefully.

“Hello to you too,” he teased as he settled into his chair beside her.

“Sorry,” she said rolling her eyes. “Hi Neil. How are you?”

“I’m fine. How are you feeling?”

He examined her eyes for any pain, knowing that she would try to hide how she was really feeling. Even if she didn’t say anything, he knew her well enough to see that she still had the headache and her side ached. He wished she wasn’t so stubborn and would admit that she was in pain.

“Ready to go home.”

“And you’ll be there once Aaron releases you.”

“I don’t need to be here,” she argued. “I’m taking a bed from someone who really needs it.”

“Claire,” he said, “You’re the one who needs it. If you didn’t, you’d be home already.”

“I don’t know about that. I think you’re the one who wants me here.”

“Aaron’s your doctor not me, he’s the one who wants to keep you here to make sure you’re okay.”

“You could convince him if you wanted to. I know you talk to him.”

She wasn’t wrong. He had talked about her with Aaron, but that was more because Audrey had talked to him first about Neil’s feelings for Claire. He had also been supportive and told him that he should tell her. He had every intention of doing so but wanted to wait until they had privacy away from the hospital. Aaron had also shared with him how lucky Claire had been in the accident and how much worse the outcome could’ve been.

“I know you’re ready to go home but do it for the rest of us and just stick it out a little longer. No one wants you rushing out of here to just be brought back because you’re not one hundred percent.”

She sighed. “Neil, I’m okay. I just want to sleep in my own bed and sleep through the night without anyone waking me up to check my vitals.” He must have made a face because she frowned asking, “What?”

“Once you do get discharged, you shouldn’t be by yourself.”

“Are you volunteering?” she asked with a smile.

“If you want me too.”

“I couldn’t ask that of you,” she said softly.

“Claire, I’d do anything for you.”

She looked at him closely for a few minutes, before finally agreeing. “I’m only saying yes because I know you’re not going to get any rest if you’re not constantly looking over me.”

He couldn’t disagree with that. “Just wait until Aaron approves it.”

“Fine,” she said, “But if he doesn’t soon, I might have to sign myself out.”

“I’m sure it will just be a few more days.” 

They both turned towards the door as the physical therapist came to work with Claire.

Reluctantly, he stood, “I’ll be back in a little while to check on you.”

“I’ll be here.” He turned to leave, but she called him back. “Thanks Neil.”

“You’re welcome,” he said as he left.

Instead of returning to his office to finish his paperwork, he went to Audrey’s office and was glad to see that she was available.

“How’s Claire?” she asked as he came in and sat down in the chair by her desk.

“Anxious to get home.” He was nervous about his next request. “Which is actually want I wanted to talk to you about. I was hoping I could take some of my vacation days once she’s released.”

“Oh, so you finally told her what the rest of us have seen this past week?”

“Not exactly.”

She shook her head, “You’re an idiot.”

“I’ll talk to her about it, I just want to make sure she’s taken care of.”

“Promise me you will because I don’t want to deal with this lovesick routine you’ve got going on.” He rolled his eyes causing her to laugh. “I know it’s complicated, but you two will figure it out, and you have a lot of support.”

“Which I’m grateful for.”

“You’ll be able to take the time off, but I can’t guarantee that we won’t need you in case of an emergency.”

“Thanks.”

He left Audrey’s office and went back to his office. He glanced at the clock to see how much longer Claire would be receiving physical therapy. While he knew she wouldn’t mind if he was there, he liked to give her privacy. He worked for a while until he knew that she would be finished. With a sigh, he stood leaving the rest of his work for later as he returned to sit with Claire. 

She had fallen back asleep after her session with the therapist. He got comfortable in his chair by her bed and examined her. Even though she insisted that she was fine, he knew it would take her longer to get back to full strength. He worried that she would push herself too hard and end up hurting herself more. He hoped that she would let him help her as she recovered. He settled in to watch her sleep as he thought about what he would tell her once she was released. She meant too much to him for him to stay silent much longer.


	4. Chapter 4

Claire was relieved to be in the car with Neil heading back home after far too long in the hospital. Even though he denied it, she thought that he was the one who had kept her there longer than she thought was necessary. She felt better overall but was still dealing with lingering body aches, exhaustion, and the side effects of the concussion. More often than not she had a headache but had learned how to deal with it. On the instances when it turned into more of a migraine, she tried as best she could to mask the pain, but he always saw through it. She would still occasionally get dizzy, but she didn’t think that was a reason to remain in the hospital.

A few days earlier, she had agreed that he could stay with her once she got out of the hospital, but now that they were driving to her apartment, she was questioning if that was a good idea. When she had gotten in the car, she had seen his bag in the backseat, and being that close to him for the next few days was overwhelming. She remembered now more of her conversation with Dash, where she had told him that she was in love with Neil and all the reasons why it would never work. However, with the amount of time he had spent with her in the hospital she began to doubt the excuses she had given Dash. She knew she would have to have a conversation with Neil.

“You know,” she said, watching him as he drove, “You really don’t need to stay with me.”

He glanced at her frowning, “You agreed before.”

“I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

“Claire,” he sighed, “You’re never an inconvenience.”

“Remember that the next time you disagree with me at work.”

She glanced away from him to look out the window. That was something that none of them had mentioned yet. Even Dr. Glassman hadn’t given her a date when she would be released to come back to work. She knew that it wouldn’t be until the dizziness and headaches passed, but she was anxious about how much time she was missing.

As always Neil seemed to know exactly what she was thinking. Without looking away from the road, he reached for her hand, “You’ll be back impressing everyone in no time.”

“Thanks,” she said softly.

As he pulled into the parking lot, she was hit with relief to finally be home. She carefully undid her seatbelt and opened the door. She knew that standing up usually caused her to feel dizzy so she moved slowly so it wouldn’t happen. She felt Neil’s eyes on her watching to make sure she didn’t need his help. She sighed as she shut the door, glancing up to see the path the door. It seemed to have gotten longer since she’d been in the hospital.

Noticing where she was looking, he smiled. “I can carry you if you’d like,” he said.

Glaring, she answered, “Don’t you dare.”

Laughing softly, he held out his arm to her instead, and she took it so she could lean on him a little as they walked up to her door. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was glad that he was there. She unlocked the door and they went inside, dropping their things by the door. She sank down onto her sofa and sighed.

He stood by the coffee table, “Can I get you anything?”

“You’re staying here because of me, aren’t I supposed to ask you that?”

“Not when you just got out of the hospital,” he argued. “Do you need anything?”

“For you to sit down and stop trying to take care of me.”

“Isn’t that what I’m here for?”

“No, you’re here so you won’t worry, and you can get some rest. You still look exhausted.”

“I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me.”

She thought about the nurses who had stopped to sit with her when he wasn’t there. They all told her about how he spent every moment he could by her side, holding her hand, and talking to her. They said he even would fall asleep there. As her thoughts became clearer, she began to wonder if he had feelings for her as she did for him. She wished that she knew what he had said to her while she was unconscious. Shaun had asked her if she could hear them talking to her, and she had told him no. However, she didn’t know how to explain to him that there were times when she felt safe and loved. It didn’t make sense, but she wondered if that was when Neil was beside her.

She was exhausted from the walk from the car, but she didn’t want to wait any longer to see if he felt the same away about her. If she was wrong, she would blame the lingering affects of the concussion. 

“Neil, just sit down and rest.”

He sat down on the opposite end of the sofa, and if she wanted to take a risk and share her feelings, she needed him to be closer.

She sighed, and patted the spot next to her, “I meant here. Unless you’re going to make me move.”

He slid down so that he was right beside her. “Is this better?” he asked.

She nodded. Taking a deep breath, she moved to rest her head against his shoulder. He hesitated a moment before carefully wrapping his arm around her.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” she said softly.

“Thank you for letting me.”

She took a moment to enjoy being with him. She felt happy being beside him, and she knew that this was the perfect time.

“Some of the nurses told me you slept next to my bed.”

“I didn’t want you to wake up alone,” he said, as he started to gently run his fingers up and down her arm. 

“You know the night of the accident was blurry for a while,” she started. “But I do remember parts of what Dash and I talked about at dinner.”

“Like what?”

“We shared some memories of Kayla, talked about how we would be better as friends, and,” she took a deep breath, “I told him that I’m in love with my boss.”

She felt his sharp intake of breath as his fingers stilled against her arm. She worried that she had ruined the best thing in her life. She was filled with relief as his fingers started caressing her arm again.

“Really?” he asked, and she could hear the smile in his voice. “Which one?”

“Who do you think?” she asked rolling her eyes even though he couldn’t see her.

“Well, your boss loves you too and has been quite worried about you.”

She sat up so she could look at him. “I’m fine now.”

“Claire, I thought I was going to lose you,” he said shakily, tears in his eyes, “Without ever getting to tell you how much you mean to me.”

“I think you’ve shown me,” she said, reaching out to caress his face. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you looking so disheveled as when I woke up.”

“You were unconscious for three days, I didn’t want to be anywhere but by your side. I love you.”

She smiled, “I love you too.”

She knew that there was so much more they should talk about including the logistics of when she went back to work, but at that moment all that mattered was that they loved each other. She just wanted to be with him.

“I’ve been looking forward to sleeping in my bed,” she said, “Want to join me?”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” she answered, “But we can just stay here if you want.”

He stood up and took her hand. She slowly stood up and intertwined their fingers, leading him to her bedroom. She had pictured many times what it would be like to have him in her bed, and while sleeping side by side wasn’t what she imagined, she couldn’t wait to fall asleep in his arms.


	5. Chapter 5

Neil opened his eyes and glanced down at Claire asleep in his arms. It had taken them a little while to get settled together, as he wanted to make sure that she was comfortable. He had told Audrey that he planned on telling Claire how he felt about her once she was released from the hospital. He shouldn’t have been surprised that she was braver than him and shared her feelings first. He felt a sense of relief that they both felt the same for each other. He knew eventually they would have to talk about how they would be together especially when she was able to return to work, but for now he was content just to know that she loved him too.

He studied her as she slept, watching the steady rise and fall of her chest. He knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her beside him. He thought about how close he had been to never being able to experience this with her. He knew he would always share his feelings with her now, he wouldn’t want any regrets with her.

He had meant to check to see what she had in her kitchen and go grocery shopping, but she had distracted him by asking him to sit beside her. When she had rested her head on his shoulder, he had wanted nothing more than to stay like that forever. However, now he needed to see what they needed at the store. He planned on taking advantage of being able to take care of her while he could.

He climbed out of bed slowly, hoping he wouldn’t wake her.

“Where are you going?” she asked sleepily.

“I’m going to the store to get things for dinner.”

“We can just order something.”

“I want to make you dinner.”

“Okay. I should get up and shower anyway.”

“Why don’t you want until I come back?” he asked concerned about her getting dizzy.

“Why do you want to help me?” she asked with a smile.

“You’re going to be trouble, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.”

He leaned over and brushed his lips against her forehead. “Go back to sleep, I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay,” she said settling back against the pillows. “Be careful. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He stood watching her for a moment as she drifted back to sleep. Forcing himself to get moving, he went into her kitchen to see what she had. He remembered her telling him that she didn’t like cooking and wasn’t very good at it. He frowned as he looked in her refrigerator and pantry. He threw out some of the expired foods and quickly made a list of what they needed.

He grabbed her keys as he headed out. He went through the store quickly as he didn’t want to leave her alone for too long. Thankfully it wasn’t too crowded, and he was able to get what they needed. He was looking forward to being able to take care of her. He knew he was lucky that she was letting him in the first place.

As he carried the bags up to her apartment, he let himself in. He was surprised to find her sitting on the sofa with a blanket across her lap.

“Did you find everything you wanted?”

“Yes,” he answered. “How are you feeling? Are you hungry now?”

“I think I’d like that shower first.”

She stood and followed him into the kitchen as he put things away. She went to help, and he shook his head. “I got it.”

She sighed, “I can put away groceries with you.”

“Save your energy for your shower.”

“Why? Are you planning on joining me?”

“Do you want me to?”

She shrugged, fighting back a smile. “I might need your help.”

“That’s what I’m here for.”

He finished putting everything away, and then they headed back to her bedroom.

They stood facing each other. She moved first and reached for his shirt. He tugged it off. Her hands drifted across his stomach. He gently helped her out of her shirt mindful of her injuries. His breath caught as he got a better look of the lingering bruises and healing incision on her body that he couldn’t see before. His hand trembled as he reached out to touch her. He thought again about how close he came to losing her.

She squeezed his hand, “I’m okay,” she said softly.

“I know.”

Her hands moved to his belt, “I’ve thought about this before, what it would be like to be with you.”

“Me too.”

He closed the distance between them giving into what he had wanted to do for so long. The kiss started gentle but soon she reached to put her arms around him to deepen it. Wanting to bring her close he placed his hand against her waist. She flinched as he accidently pressed against the bruises on her side.

He immediately moved away from her, his hands falling to his side, “I’m so sorry.”

“Neil, it’s okay. I’m fine.”

He shook his head. “We’ll wait until you’re healed.” He gently caressed her face, “I don’t want to cause you anymore pain.”

“You won’t,” she said, “Think you can kiss me without touching me?”

He let his gaze travel her body, thinking about how beautiful she was. “No,” he answered honestly. He reached for her hand, “Go take your shower. I’ll be right here if you need me.”

She kissed him gently, “Okay,” she said turning to go into the bathroom.

He sat down on the edge of the bed to get himself back together. She had just gotten out of the hospital and still needed to heal. His desire for her would have to wait, he wouldn’t risk hurting her after all she had been through. He slipped his shirt back on and listened to make sure she didn’t call for him. A little while later she came out of the shower and he kept an eye on her as she got dressed.

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

She nodded.

They headed to the kitchen and he directed her to sit down.

“Do you need any help?”

“I got it.”

She sighed, “You’re going to spoil me and I’m never going to want you to leave.”

He glanced over at her smiling, “I’m okay with that.”

He felt her eyes on him as he got the ingredients ready for the tortilla soup.

“Where did you learn to cook?” she asked.

“My abuela and my mother.”

“Maybe one day you can teach me,” she said softly. “Although I’m really bad at it.”

“Worse than you are at bowling?”

“Maybe.”

“Really?” he asked, finding that hard to believe.

“I never really learned.”

He thought about what she had shared with him about her childhood, and as always it made him sad to think about all she had gone through.

“I’d be happy to teach you,” he said, “But for now I’ll handle the cooking.”

“Thank you.” She hesitated a moment before asking, “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” he said, looking over at her.

“Would this be happening if I hadn’t been in the accident?”

He took a shaky breath. “No, it probably wouldn’t.”

“I’ve loved for a while,” she admitted, “I even told my therapist about it.”

“What did she say?”

“She thought I should tell you. I disagreed so I didn’t. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship or complicate things at work.”

“I understand, I was thinking the same thing.” He turned to continue making dinner. “I thought it would be better to keep things as they were.”

“We were idiots,” she said, “I know it could be trouble at work, with you being my boss, but that was just an excuse. I didn’t want to risk hurting you.”

He sighed, “I think we both were trying to protect our jobs, protect our hearts, but the thought of not having you in my life. Claire, I can’t hide this anymore.”

“I’m glad.” She stood and moved to stand beside him. “At least something good came out of it.”

“I am happy to get to be with you like this,” he smiled, “But you being okay, that was the most important part.”

“I’m really glad you’re here.”

“No where else I would be.” He motioned for her to go sit back down. “Let me take care of you.”

“Maybe I just want to be close to you.”

He couldn’t argue with that because he liked having her beside him. “Fine, but if you feel…”

She cut him off, “I’m a doctor too.”

“A brilliant one, but doctors make the worst patients.”

“I’ll try not to be too bad for you.”

“Thanks,” he laughed.

He continued making dinner with her by his side. He looked forward to getting to do this with her for the rest of his life. The car accident might have given them the push that they needed to admit their feelings to each other, but the love was already there. He looked forward to seeing what would happen next.


	6. Chapter 6

In the three weeks that Claire had been home from the hospital, Neil stayed with her as often as he could. He had taken a week off work to be by her side if she needed anything but continued to come stay with her even when he went back to work. She knew that he worried when he had to work long shifts, but she was doing much better. She was enjoying getting a chance to create a real relationship with him, greater than what she could have ever imagined.

They had a strong foundation with their friendship and the transition to being in a relationship was easy. She knew it would be a little more complicated once she was cleared to return to work. She had a doctor’s appointment the next day and she was hoping that she would finally be able to get back to normal. She was trying not to be too cranky with her recovery, but it was difficult when she was used to being at work and keeping busy. Her body was still sore, she still had some headaches, but thankfully the dizziness was gone. As she had told Neil, she had headaches before a work, and they wouldn’t distract from her ability to do her job. He of course was a little more cautious.

She had gotten frustrated with him a few nights ago and had to tell him to stop treating her as if she was going to break. Her injuries were healing, and she felt fine. She understood his desire to keep her safe, but she was going crazy having him so close and not being able to act on the attraction that had been building for so long. She hoped once she officially was cleared to come back to work, he wouldn’t be so careful.

He had texted her a little while ago, and she knew he was on his way after his shift from the hospital. He had started leaving some of his things at her place, and she had even made some room for him in her closet. He had been surprised when she did that but was appreciative of having space and not needing to run back to his house before shifts.

She sighed as she flipped through some of the recipes that Kayla had left her. She still wasn’t a fan of cooking, but found it was much more enjoyable with Neil by her side. He had the same confidence that he did in the operating room, and she found it very attractive. He was trying to teach her some of the recipes that he knew, but she usually ended up just watching him. He pretended to be annoyed by it, but she knew he enjoyed the attention.

She pulled a few of the recipes cards out and smiled when she heard his key in the door.

“Claire,” he called.

“In here,” she answered. “How was your day?”

“Better now,” he said, coming to kiss her.

“What happened?”

She knew that he tried not to share too much about what happened at work because he didn’t want her to feel bad about not being able to be there.

He glanced down at the cards in her hands, “Were you going to make dinner without me?”

She laughed, “Never.”

“Good,” he said, “I was looking forward to it.” He sighed. “It was one of those days where it seemed everything was going wrong.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Later?” He caressed her face, “I just want to spend some time with you.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“How was your day?”

She shrugged. “The usual.”

He frowned, “See what he says tomorrow.”

“I know,” she pushed away her frustrations. “I won’t let my crankiness spoil our evening.”

“You’re not cranky.”

She made a face, “It’s sweet of you to say that, I know I’ve been annoying.”

“Can I be honest?”

“Of course.”

“I thought you’d be a lot worse,” he said with a smile.

“Funny,” she said rolling her eyes. “Having you here has helped.”

“I’m glad,” he said softly. “Now what did you want us to do for dinner?” he asked, taking the recipes from her. He flipped through them and she watched him as he looked at them. He handed two of them back to her, “We’re not having cake for dinner.”

“Worth a shot.” She placed them back on the table. “I think we still have brownies left anyway.”

“Ice cream too?”

“Yes, unless you ate it all.”

He shook his head. “How about this curry?”

She took the card from him and glanced over the ingredients. “Sounds really good.”

He kissed her again. “Let me go change, while you get the ingredients together.”

“Or I could come with you,” she offered.

“I’ll be quick,” he said, heading to the bedroom to change.

She sighed as she started to gather what they needed. She knew that Neil wanted her as much as she wanted him, but that he wanted to be careful until she was completely healed. She knew that things would be different once she was cleared for work and he was no longer worried about causing her pain. She did have to figure out a way to ask Dr. Glassman without it becoming awkward since he knew she would be talking about being cleared to be intimate with Neil.

“What times your appointment tomorrow?” he asked as he came back into the kitchen.

“11:30.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“That’s okay,” she answered. “You’ll be busy.”

He came towards her and carefully wrapped his arms around her waist. “Never too busy for you.”

“Maybe I could stop by your office afterwards?”

“I’d like that,” he smiled. “We could have lunch on the balcony.”

“Sounds good,” she said, lopping her arms around his neck. “Although if Dr. Glassman doesn’t let me go back to work, I won’t be good company.”

He rested his forehead against hers. “I won’t mind.” He kissed her gently before moving to look at the recipe. “Just trust whatever he says.”

“I will,” she nudged his side. “I’m starving. I think you should get started on dinner.”

“I thought we were doing this together.”

“But it’s so much more enjoyable watching you.”

He handed her the vegetables. “You can cut these.”

“Fine,” she sighed, fighting a grin, “If you insist.”

“I do,” he smiled at her. “Everything is better with you next to me.”

“It’s a good thing I love you,” she said, “Otherwise that sappiness would be a deal breaker.”

He laughed, “You’re stuck with me.”

“Good.”

They finished working side by side to get dinner together. Claire chopped the vegetables but then moved off to the side to watch him. Despite her frustrations with not being able to go back to work, she knew how lucky she was to have him by her side. And hopefully, once she saw Dr. Glassman tomorrow, they would be able to take the next step in their relationship.


	7. Chapter 7

Neil was frustrated that on Claire’s first day back at work he had gotten called into an emergency surgery. The plan had been for them to go to HR together before their shift, but as they walked into the hospital he had been paged. She ended up going by herself. He knew that she could handle it on her own, but he had wanted them to do it together. It was an awkward and invasive process, and he wanted to be by her side.

Claire had seen Aaron two days ago and he had cleared her to return to work. She had stopped by his office after her appointment. She hadn’t needed to say anything, he could tell by the smile on her face that she was able to come back to work. He knew that she was fine, but he hadn’t minded that Aaron had her stay home for a while. He wanted to make sure she wasn’t pushing herself. As they sat out on the balcony eating lunch together, she had told him that work wasn’t the only thing she was cleared for. The rest of his shift seemed to drag with his anticipation of finally being able to take their relationship to the next step. He knew she had been frustrated with him for being extra cautious, but she had been through enough pain with the accident and he refused to cause her any more.

With a sigh, he headed to HR to sign the paperwork for their relationship. 

“Dr. Melendez,” she said as he stepped in. “Dr. Browne said you’d be stopping by after your surgery.”

“Yes,” he said, “Sorry I wasn’t able to be here with her.”

She shrugged, “It’s okay.” She pulled out a folder. “Just sign these and remember to keep things professional. You’ll still be able to work together but you won’t be able to do any evaluations. And no PDA.”

He skimmed over the paperwork, unfortunately, more familiar with it than he liked to admit. “That’s it?” he asked signing his name. To be honest he had expected more questions. They had asked more when he had come with Audrey.

“That’s is.”

He stood ready to go about his day, curious about how Claire’s conversation with her had gone.

“Dr. Melendez,” she called.

“Yes.”

“I’ll see you back here when you fill out the paperwork for your marriage.”

He was surprised by that comment, but smiled, “I’ll see you then.”

Relieved to be done with declaring their relationship with HR, he was glad that he wouldn’t have to give up working beside Claire. She really was one of the best that he had ever worked with and it would be a shame for that not to be able to continue. He knew they would both be able to maintain their professionalism. He had been hiding his feelings for her for months, he knew he could pretend during their shifts. It helped knowing that he would be able to spend his nights with her.

As he headed to his office, he was happy to see Claire by herself in the lounge. Bypassing his office, he went into the lounge. She looked up at him smiling. She was beautiful, and that quickly he began to question his earlier thoughts about how easy it would be to stay professional. Before when he was hiding his feelings, he didn’t know what it felt like to be with her. He kept his distance so he wouldn’t be tempted to kiss her.

“What did you say in HR?”

“Dr. Melendez,” she teased emphasizing his name, “That’s personal.”

He laughed, “That’s fine, Dr. Browne.” He stared at her for a minute. He had been so worried about her recovery, that he hadn’t realized just how much he missed seeing her at work.

“What?” she said.

“It’s really nice to have you back here,” he admitted.

“It’s good to be back.” She held up the scans in her hand. “And to be thrown right back in.”

“Need any help?”

She shook her head, “I’m good, but I’ll let you know if I do.”

“Okay.” He got lost in watching her for a moment before he started towards his office. If he stayed in the lounge, he’d get nothing done but watch her work.

“Dr. Melendez,” she called.

“Yes, Dr. Browne.”

“I love you.”

“I…”

He was cut off by the door opening and the other residents coming in. They all started talking at once happy to have Claire back. Knowing how difficult it was for her to be away from work, he hadn’t mentioned to her how they all felt her absence in the team. She held things together more than any of them had realized. Leaving her to her friends, he went into his office and started to catch up on some emails before rounds.

He didn’t get to work with Claire or see her much the rest of the day. He knew Audrey decided to have Claire work with her so she could keep an eye on her on her first day back. He wished he could have done it, but he could admit that he might not be the best person for that. He would be distracted making sure she wasn’t overdoing it and would want to send her home at the first sign that she was getting tired. Their patients would have suffered and she would have been annoyed with him.

Thankfully, his day went smoothly working with Morgan and Alex. He could tell that they wanted to comment about Claire being back, but they seemed to realize that would be a mistake. At the end of his shift he headed back towards his office. He found Claire leaning against the railing outside on the balcony. She turned as he opened the door to join her. He knew immediately that she was exhausted from her first day back and had a headache. He moved to stand next to her.

“I didn’t get a chance to tell you something this morning.”

“What’s that?”

“I love you too.”

“I know.” She smiled. “I saw them coming and wanted to see what you were going to do,” she admitted. “Thank you for not saying it in front of them. Morgan has already been annoying about it.”

“Do I want to know?”

“No.”

She rested her head against his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her. He knew that they were pushing the boundaries of professionalism a little, but no one else came out this way. He brought his other hand up to gently massage her forehead.

“How was your first day back?”

“Wonderful,” she sighed, “But also exhausting.”

“How are you feeling?”

“After not doing much the past few weeks, this was a lot, but worth it.”

He was relieved that she was being honest with him. He knew she tended to downplay how she was feeling after the accident. He could tell how she was feeling and was glad that she didn’t feel the need to hide it from him.

“We should go home so you can get some rest.”

“Don’t you have some work to finish?”

“It can wait.”

“I don’t want you to fall behind because of me.”

“You’re more important.”

“I don’t think so.” She turned to face him. “What if we compromise?”

“What’s your idea?”

“I’ll rest on the sofa while you finish up your work, then when you’re done, we can go home.”

“I’ll agree to that, if you agree to something.”

“What?”

“Let me take care of you when we get home.”

“You spoil me.”

“You deserve it,” he said softly.

She rolled her eyes as they headed back inside. He watched her settle on the sofa and kissed her gently on the forehead before moving to his desk. He knew he would finish quickly because he couldn’t wait to spend a relaxing evening with Claire.


End file.
